


Accidental Dick Pic

by totallybusy



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Dick Pics, Dorks, Embarrassment, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 15:20:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10127600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totallybusy/pseuds/totallybusy
Summary: Boss: Know why I called you in here?Employee: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic?Boss: [stops pouring two glasses of wine] Accidentally?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of this tumblr post:  
> http://earlgreytea68.tumblr.com/post/158049879921/this-is-such-an-arthur-x-eames-au-omg
> 
> Not beta'd, not proofread, none of these characters belong to me. Hope you enjoy.

Arthur was going to spontaneously combust at any second, he just knew it. He welcomed it even. And if the burning in his cheeks was any indication, that combustion was going to start with his head. Spontaneous human combustion seemed like the best option anyway, since it was unlikely that the ground could open up to swallow him on the twelfth floor, and actually surviving past 6:30 this afternoon was just not an option.

Not after what he had done.

God, what had possessed him to take a picture of his own dick?

“Hey Arthur,” Yusuf said, “we’re getting ready to head over to the bar, do you want to come with us?”

Arthur looked up at him for a moment, unable to comprehend anything that wasn’t a part of his own personal downfall. But still, it wouldn’t do to look like a complete moron in front of his coworkers. Even if he certainly felt like one at the moment.

“Ah, no,” Arthur finally said, “sorry, but Eames is having me work late tonight. Kind of a last minute thing, but I need to meet with him once he gets back.” Back from where ever he’d gone after the disaster that was sure to mean the ruination of all that Arthur had worked so hard for.

“Oh, rotten luck!” Yusuf bemoaned. “Well, I can’t imagine it will go on too late, so if you feel up for it, you can always join us later. Ariadne likes to close down the place anyway!” 

Ariadne sniffed at the pointed jab, and said, “Just because some of us like to stay out after sunset doesn’t make us anymore of a lush than you, Yusuf. And yeah, Arthur, if you’re up for it, you really should come out tonight. You’ve looked beaten down all afternoon; you could probably use a drink.”

Arthur demurred and turned back to his computer, trying to look busy. Anything to end this conversation. He waved as Ariadne and Yusuf left, and tried to find something that would take up his attention. Somehow the analytics he had been setting up just didn’t capture his focus as they usually did.

What had Eames said when he left the office? “My office, six thirty. Do not make me wait.” It had just been so brusque. So sharp. Eames was never that sharp. As bosses went, he was practically lackadaisical, to the point you wondered if he was doing any work at all, until all the pieces of a project came together. He forged partnerships and projects into something the company could be proud of, and Arthur had been proud to be part of his team. Until he’d ruined everything.

It was such an amateur mistake, too. Arthur had heard all the warnings through the years, about taking intimate photos, about making sure the message you were sending was to the right recipient, whether it was business or pleasure. 

But he had been nervous, and feeling pressured. This new guy he was talking to had been pushing for photos, and Arthur was trying to be more daring, to be more of what people seemed to want from him. To be, and he almost couldn’t bear to think of it, to be someone that Eames would have been pleased to look at. 

So he had snapped the picture at home, while he was feeling brave, but then hadn’t had the heart to send it. He’d gone back and forth with the guy a few more times over text, responded to a question that Eames had sent over, and then opened the picture in the men’s room, staring at it, trying to figure out what to do. 

Was it even a good dick pic? Was there such a thing? He’d done the best he could, lighting and angles being what they were in his apartment, but still. It was, essentially, a picture of his own penis. He wasn’t exactly a neutral observer of it, but he thought it looked decent. Not scary at least. But was it arousing? Scintillating? Was that supposed to be the point of this whole endeavor, the naughty thrill of sending naked pictures? Mostly it just made Arthur feel nauseous. 

Finally he just took a breath and sent it to the first message thread in his phone, before collapsing back against the stall wall. 

A minute later, a message came through from his potential hook up. 

Cobalt: Lol, so are you gonna send it, or do I have to beg?

What? Why would he say that when Arthur had just send the picture?

He opened up the thread to make sure the picture had gone through. It wasn’t there. But Arthur was sure he had sent it. 

He went back to the main messaging app, and started hyperventilating. He hadn’t sent it to Cobalt at all, he had sent it to Eames! How had he sent it to Eames, what kind of amateur mistake was that?!

Oh god, what was he going to do? Sometimes Eames left his cell phone on his desk while he walked around the office, maybe he could delete the picture before Eames saw it?

He strode as quickly and firmly out of the men’s room as he could without running. Don’t look panicked, that was the key. God, if only he could get to the office before-

Arthur turned the corner and saw Eames come out of his office, hectic spots of red on his cheeks, and a wild look in his eyes. Maybe he had just gotten some wild idea in his head? What was that in his hand? 

Oh god, it was his phone.

He spotted Arthur, and it looked like a jolt went straight up his spine. Arthur felt like dying on the spot. 

“Arthur,” Eames barked, so different from his normal, lazy purr. “My office, six thirty. Do not make me wait.” And then he’d just left, storming out of the office like he was going to battle. 

Arthur stared at his desktop, opening spreadsheets and analyses just to glance over the contents and then close them again. He couldn’t think right now, he couldn’t do any work. What was the point, he was sure to be fired anyway? He would be fired and then he would burst into flames. A fitting end to the once promising career of the young Arthur Levine. He thought he might cry. 

The clock on his desk clicked over to 6:28pm. Arthur sighed and pushed up to his feet. No point in putting off the inevitable. He looked over at his boss’s office, and was stricken to see that the light was on. Eames must have come back without his noticing.

Arthur dragged himself over to the office, and tapped lightly on the door.

The door sprung open, and suddenly Eames was there, very close, just staring at him, that same wild look in his eyes.

“Arthur,” he said on a breath, “please, come in. You’re right on time.”

Eames went over and sat behind his desk, and started messing with something that clanked and clinked.

Arthur sat in the only chair on the other side of the desk, and tried not to weep. It just wouldn’t do to cry in front of this man he so respected, even if he had lost all of his esteem today. 

“I think you know why I called you in here,” Eames said, still not looking up from whatever was behind his desk.”

Arthur dropped his eyes and took a deep breath. “Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.”

He looked up and stared at the sight of a stricken Eames, holding two full wine glasses. 

“Accidentally?” Eames said weakly.

Arthur was at a loss for words. So, it appeared, was Eames. 

“You thought,” Arthur stuttered out, “you thought that I- on purpose?”

Eames put the glasses down on the desk, and buried his head in his hands.

“Yes,” he said without lifting up his head, “yes Arthur, I’m afraid I did.”

“You thought I sent it on purpose,” Arthur said slowly, looking at the red wine in what looked to be a brand new wine glass, with what looked to be a price sticker still on the bottom of the base. “You thought I sent it on purpose, and you went out to get wine?”

“Yes,” moaned Eames, “I did. I thought you meant to do it, and I was excited, and I thought that we could have some wine, and talk about what we wanted, and then, oh god, I don’t know what I thought would happen next, and this is just so embarrassing!” He collapsed down onto the desk, his face now fully hidden behind his arms.

Arthur stared the wine glass some more, and thought about how he had spent the last two hours consumed in that same feeling of shame and self-recrimination. He thought about how he didn’t feel any of those emotions at all now, and instead felt the kind of lightness within his heart that he had only dreamt of. 

“So,” Arthur said, “you went out, bought a bottle of wine and some glasses, and came back here so that we could talk about what he wanted, right?” 

“Yes,” Eames said, finally sitting up straight, looking like a man expecting a blow to the face. “That’s exactly what I did.”

Arthur picked up the wine glass, stood, and slid with more confidence than he felt straight into Eames lap. He took a sip of his wine, and smiled at the taste.

“So start talking,” he said.

Eames stared at him for a moment, and then gave his own smile, the one that twisted up Arthur’s spine and made him think of wicked things.

“Oh darling,” Eames purred, “there are so many better things to do than talk.”

And he pulled Arthur down into a kiss that sent flames licking up his spine and deep within his heart. 

This was why people sent dick pics.


End file.
